What was said to the rose that made it open
was said to me here in my chest.
-Rumi
Great & inspiring short read:
http://tinybuddha.com/blog/how-mindfulness-can-help-you-discover-what-you-want-to-do-in-life/
I hope that you find your own little piece of zen today! ❤
You are! You’re actually more than pretty great.. Even though it’s easy to forget.
It doesn’t matter how busy you are. Whether you have thirty five tasks that need completing daily or absolutely none it is just as easy to forget …you’re a real, breathing entity.
You’re a real person with real emotions! Real needs and wants. But you’re more than that, too.
The way we live our lives, the way we spend our time, the (often harmful) way that we treat ourselves and others; it’s easy to forget that there is a real world out there apart from technology, work, school, politics, social constructs… the world that we so often make the only reality for ourselves.
But… you’re not a machine. Your true purpose is not to live for others in any capacity. You’re incredibly valuable in that you are you! Unique, yet just one tiny paintbrush stroke on a giant canvas.
The most important thing that you can do for yourself is so simple yet something most people fight with tooth and nail.
It’s just to take care of you. All-important and worthy you! …Your Den.
Whatever that means to you- physical or mental- making yourself a priority is the basic foundation of feeling worthy.
Although we look outside of ourselves for appreciation, satisfaction and to feel good enough, we don’t have to.
You are not defined by your career accolades, your title, your age, your sex, your race or your culture- even if you want to be. You simply are.
You are one person, a part of a big and beautiful ecological system. You are small but you can make a difference starting with self love and self care. You can make a difference by realizing you’re worthy and need no other titles to prove it.
I hope you feel free and worthy today and everyday!
Zenfully-
We live in an era that bombards us with advertisements and people who will tell you that you can and should “get fit quick!” “lose 10 pounds by noon today!” “get off your ass and into a triathlon!” (maybe not verbatim, but you catch my drift) and in the case of many popular diets, to do it all on 500 calories a day.
I totally understand the whole instant gratification thing. Why else would microwaves have been invented? Putting time and effort into something where the results aren’t in the foreseeable future- that’s tough. How many times have you heard people write off careers because of how many years of schooling it will take to attain them? We don’t want to waste our precious time!
Which makes sense! Absolutely. I was just talking to a good friend recently about how so many of us have seen our parents or our parent’s parents work their asses off to get THINGS. More money, better job, better house, better vacation house, college education for children, toys, better toys, boats… And then we ask ourselves “Is it really worth it? Is all that money worth the lack of time doing what you really want and time spent with family?” Some say yes. Some say no. And while I absolutely understand the importance of hard work and realizing that what we do and do not do now very much effects our future; it seems like there is rarely a happy medium.
Does it have to either be: Go all out full speed ahead and kill ourselves now to reap rewards or… do absolutely nothing & live in stagnation? What happened to the middle ground; the slow and steady?
I have this theory
-and it quite possibly could be wrong. It’s just what I’ve gathered after doing this all out vs. nothing to myself over the years-
I think when we push ourselves so hard so frequently we forget who that little voice inside is. Not the Jiminy Cricket conscience but, for lack of a better word here, your intuition. Why else would so many different lifestyles be pushed every direction we look? Paleo vs. veganism; strength training with weights vs. body weight training; HIIT vs slow rate cardio… and seriously, people, that is JUST pertaining to fitness and health!
There are so many different books, documentaries, movies and individuals quite literally screaming from atop their soap box about the “best way to live!” The problem being, when it comes down to it, we are all so incredibly different. One person or group’s way of doing something that works lovely for them may be the complete opposite of what is good for you!
But we’ll try ’em all, right?! I mean, someone has to be right. …Right?
I don’t know. Maybe we are all just too incredibly different to share any particular strict lifestyle for long periods of time while thriving. Or maybe not. I think the important thing to realize is that what you: your body, your mind, your intuition, your ethics, your past, your genetics, says is right for you.
That’s a tough one for me! Often times I want the magic pill. The quick fix. The easy money. The instant enlightenment. And this is true especially when it comes to fitness and food and health. Sometimes the work is hard! When there is no end in sight it becomes easier to lack ambition. With so many options out there and so many people preaching their way like gospel- let’s just be honest: it’s easy to become confused.
But I’m learning, for me, that when I try to do things the “easy way”, in other words the way it’s worked for other people- well I might as well just take a hammer to my intuition and beat it as far down and inward as it will go. It’s as if I’m telling myself,
“Hey, Taune, other people know you way better than yourself.”
Which is absolutely not true! No one knows me better than me. No one knows you better than you, either.
The only thing that comes from following other people with such preciseness and taking their path on as your own it that it will just make more hard work for you later when you try to dig your intuition out from where you beat him or her to.
There is a BIG difference between feeling motivated by others and emulating or following them.
This is something I’ve found to be true in so many areas of life- but today I just want to keep it to fitness and health.
So here’s the thing, I didn’t listen to my intuition yesterday or the day before. And afterwards felt horribly sick and have dealt with an excruciating migraine for a day and a half now. Not fun! It was something silly and simple, nothing big: after a day of feeling very under the weather I ignored my body and had two cocktails out. Then the next morning decided to try a new hour long boxing bootcamp class. (Did I mention it’s that TOM, too? ..Sorry fellas!) So here I am, feeling pretty drab and dealing with some physical and mental muck all because I decided that what I wanted in the moment was more important than how it would make me feel later. I could have saved myself some grief by tuning into that inward voice a little more and heard it saying, “Take it easy! You can go all out tomorrow.” But, you know, I didn’t.
I know that’s a small example, but without being mindful of what happened things like that could become a domino effect and onto much larger issues. Health is wealth! Balance is key.
This struggle with balance seems to be a common occurrence in my life and others. It seems to tie in very well with the philosophy of mindfulness. Balance is not the same for me as it is for you or anyone else. We are all wildly different even though we all look very much the same.
There are so many intricacies within all of us and it is important for me to remember that just because you may do a strenuous 1200 calorie busting bootcamp six times a week and love it… I may do better practicing yoga seven times a week. Or five. Or three. (Or vice versa) One probably isn’t better than the other in general. Results seem to be dependent on you and your body.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve assumed someone had a crazy epic gym routine and been told or read it was all due to yoga or pilates or some totally non-conventional way to get in that kind of shape. What?!!
It’s so easy to get caught up in the “shoulds” the “coulds” and the group think. The whole ideal of what works for someone else in absolute perfection (…supposedly) must work for you! Nope. Not having it. Let’s start a revolution in knowing who we are, right? In not absorbing all information as fact and eagerly joining in.
And in this particular case, knowing what works for us and our fitness and health. A small but real revolution that can spill off into other parts of our life, no?
Whether you choose to push your limits today or not, I hope you listen to what is truly going on within and without of yourself and make the conclusion based on that …and nothing else, really.
Here’s one of my favorite quotes from the late, the great: George Carlin-
Small print, I know. It says, “I don’t like the ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: “Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, “There is no “I” in ‘team.’ What you should tell them is, ‘Maybe not. But there is an “I” in independence, individuality and integrity.”‘ Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name, If they say, “We’re the So-and-So’s,” take a walk. And if, somehow, you must join, if it’s unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go head and join. But don’t participate; it will be your death. And if they tell you you’re not a teal player, congratulate them on being observant.”
So! With that! My (and quite possibly your) mission, should we choose to accept it? Take everything everyone says with a grain of salt. And a shot of tequila. Or Rum. Or Kombucha. Or, you know.. nothing. You decide.
I hope you have an equally rebellious AND zenful weekend!
Lots of love-
Is your happy place a state of mind… or a tangible place?
I wish I could say it was a state of mind for me! I do. The thing is, it doesn’t always work like that for me. I’m still learning. I think for a lot of people if they could snap their fingers and feel bliss they’d be snapping all day and have the calloused fingers to show for it. And maybe it is that easy for some people… but not without practice.
I know yoga makes me feel pretty freaking blissful. Meditation too. But it takes that ominous first step to get there, and some days it just seems easier to choose apathy – or even sadness- instead of effort.
You know those people that are obnoxiously happy and cheerful and bubbly all the time? Don’t they suck, sometimes? I agree. And in those times they are so incredibly irritating it’s only because you’re not feeling that happy, right? It just seems exhausting to see them so peppy. How is it even possible?!
They’re not. They’re not that happy all the time. They are pretending! It’s true. At least, I’m pretty sure it’s true. I’ve been that person so many times. It’s a little trick one of my parents taught me that I use to make myself pretend happy in hopes it will turn into real happy if I try hard enough. Some people call it ditzy or living in a fake world.. but on good days I just mentally (usually mentally) give them the bird and move on. Live and let live, eh?
Fake it till ya make it is obviously not just used when trying to suck some bliss into your life. People use it all the time.. how about the whole, “dress for the job you want, not the job you have” quote… same principle, no?
Happy places take a little effort sometimes. Here are some ways I cheat my way to a zenful day-
Awesome music. Is there honestly anything that can change your mood as quick as music does? It’s magical, really. Some great happy music places for me: Spotify, Pandora, Youtube, Last.fm, and random music website perusing of course.
Self pampering. Self care, whatever you want to call it. Maybe a pedicure or new nail polish if you wear it, maybe a reflexology massage for your feet or a haircut. Maybe just a nice long hot bath.
Aromatherapy. Candles, incense or making a big pot of water with spices on the stove and turning it on simmer. There are a ton of recipes online for soothing scents. The one for Williams Sonoma is:
2 cups water
1 sprig rosemary (or more)
1 teaspoon of vanilla
1/2 lemon, juice squeezed and rind thrown in
Nature. This is honestly the biggest one for me. Going outside and being surrounded by plants, dirt, mountains, ocean, sky… whatever is around is all around the most soul gratifying thing I can think of doing. The ocean, especially, is one a lot of people can agree on. Research is being done on the effect of the ocean on human emotion. Here is an intriguing article about “blue mind” http://www.onearth.org/article/this-is-your-brain-on-the-ocean. Also, a simple Google search can bring many more articles and findings on the different ways nature makes us feel.
Exercise. Whether this is yoga, lifting weights, going for a run, hike, or just walking your pups (or just yourself) sweating and or movement makes your brain happy. Another one of those highly researched topics that is natural, easy and effective. Score!
Meditation. Of course! Hyper zen! But when I’m not feeling like I can quiet my mind- I reach for a meditation book, I try a mantra, I do yoga instead, I just lay there.. or I try a yoga nidra. My main squeeze loves yoga nidra and prefers to do it soon after a stressful work day.
Tea. Or something to that effect. Maybe a glass of wine or a beer, if that’s your thang. The point is something you can savor and feels calming though. The added benefit of tea as opposed to the other beverages is that, if choosing herbal tea, the herbs have specific ways in which they interact with your body. Some can keep you up, some can bring you down. We’re not talking homeopathic medicine here- we’re talking old school tried and true remedies.*
So.. what’s your cheat for hightailing your way to happiness? Do you have any ways to quickly get yourself out of the slumps? Or maybe just to get yourself into happy-hyper-mode? Maybe volunteering, helping others, helping yourself? I’d love to hear them!
I’ve just come back from a week in the Gulf Coast, where I had never been before! It was amazing and I learned a lot. That’s for another blog post though, when my SD card decides to work so I can upload some white sand beach pictures! AKA Totally my happy place.
xoxo
*Sidenote: Do you know the difference between homeopathic and naturopathic medicine? A lot of people don’t and automatically lump the two together. I personally feel like it’s a damn shame when people claim quackery without doing their own self experimentation or research. But whatever the case, nutritional therapy is becoming more and more popular. Hurray! HERBS & TEA FOR ME! 🙂
Although the word zen is used often in modern culture, it’s roots are in Mahayana Buddhism. The definition from Merriam Webster is, “A Japanese sect of Mahayana Buddhism that aims at enlightenment by direct intuition through meditation.”
Just as with anything else, philosophies are open to interpretation… I am not attempting to attain enlightenment here per say, but I am attempting to attain an inner stillness. To me the feeling of zen is peaceful. An oasis of sorts. Finding (or awakening) to the true “you” without allowing any outer noise to get in the way of pure understanding.
A lot of times people meditate to get in touch with themselves, to feel their center, and to literally clear their mind. People also practice yoga, attend spiritual or religious group gatherings, read self help books, take a vow of silence… the list is endless! Religion, spirituality and “self help” are alike in so many ways. They’re there to help a person find the higher truth, the reason we’re here, to love others as ourselves and to BE!
I don’t think the important part is – what – you’re doing, but that you are… Or at least you’re trying! This quote from John Lennon speaks volumes:
Zen to me is feeling so high on good stuff that the bad stuff can’t get me down.
As someone who has dealt with depression through my adolescence and adulthood, it’s worth finding something that lifts your spirit up! It’s those deep breaths and connecting with what is real that helps. It’s closing your eyes and visualizing your center or feeling grounded to the earth that helps. Those are things that both calm me down and make me feel alive at the same time. It seems so easy, right? But it takes questioning things that are tangible and realizing that we are more than flesh and bone. It takes becoming aware that we are our thoughts and our actions, both! We can control that feeling inside. It’s liberating, especially in the culture we live in now.
That being said, I am a child of the 21st Century! I love technology, the material world can be fun, I don’t lead a life of silence and I can definitely be armed for battle when it comes to debate… But the important thing is finding the balance.
Two books I am reading right now are: Spirit Junkie by Gabrielle Bernstein and Meditation Express by Nancy Butler and Michael Suib. Both are absolutely fantastic. Here is an excerpt I found especially helpful on how to quiet the mind in M.E:
Imagine a rushing mountain stream flowing through your mind. Every time a new thought enters your mind, throw it into the stream and watch it flow away from you.
A way I am finding my zen right now is by taking my dogs on daily long walks. I found a forested area and we walk an hour to an hour and half. Sometimes at a slower pace, sometimes we jog, and sometimes we run and walk- but it’s always in silence, in nature and pace dependent to how I feel. It’s a great lesson for me on listening to my intuition.
As a kid I was raised by pretty metaphysical parents and grandparents but it’s taken me until my early 20s to fully focus on self improvement and raising my own consciousness. It’s all okay though, and this practice of finding my own little piece of zen has taught me that.
Finding your inner happy place doesn’t have to follow any rules but your own. Whether it’s organizing your house so the clutter is gone, deciding to take up painting, or meditating for one minute… Go out there and give it a try!
Leading a zenful life is a practice! This post is the first in a series of mindfulness.
xoxo
ZEN DEN 